Enigma
by Albino Black Dove
Summary: -Oneshot- Marche is standing on the edge of Ambervale, and his long-sought goal is about to be fulfilled. But, once again, he questions himself - does he really want to go home? This is a record of his musings. Slight Marche/Ritz.


Midnight Muse:

Welcome...my fluffy bunnies of doom.

Welcome to...a FFTA fanfic.

This story, like most of my other ones, was written...between 11:22 and 11:56 PM. It seems all my good work is done at midnight-ish. Oh wells.

Enjoy.

There comes a time when you wonder if everything you've strived for, everything you've accomplished, everything you've done is right

There comes a time when you wonder if everything you've strived for, everything you've accomplished, everything you've done is right.

I stand, overlooking Ambervale. The beauty of it overtakes me, it engulfs me, and I wonder once again if it was all worth it.

This place, it's so beautiful. So amazing. I wish I could stay here forever.

Escapism. It's a small word. I spent a long time convincing myself that escapism wasn't right, wasn't the way to go. And yet, here, on the verge of accomplishment, I hesitate.

It's only human to do so. Yet, strangely, I haven't felt truly human in a long time. Perhaps it's because of the wish's effect on me; I've felt a strange power engulfing me ever since I've been to Ivalice.

I think of Mewt, the shy boy who got picked on. In the old world, I hadn't been much better than him. Here, however, the "old" me, reminiscent of me before I moved...it began to shine through. The long-haired punk who wasn't afraid to stand up for the lesser ones...like I did for Nono, even though I risked my life doing so.

I tell my clan that we're going to attack Ambervale the next day. Even though they have no reason to trust me, they've stuck by me all this time. I love them to death; their loyalty just warms my heart. Especially my Moogle friend, Montblanc. He was a godsend – coming from out of nowhere, saving my hide, etc.

The Vieras are a very...interesting race. Their ability in both the battlefield and in civilian life is simply amazing, not to mention they're extraordinarily sexy. I've very little doubt where in Mewt's mind that came from.

Our Summoner, Cecile, and I have grown very fond of each other, and have even started flirting...a bit. She's going to be hard to say goodbye to.

That brings back...my other friend. Ritz. The fiery-tempered girl who has meant so much to me in this world. Even though we're on completely different sides.

My mind flashes back to Siena Gorge...and the look on her face after the battle. In truth, their clan was truly no match for ours. I have never seen so much pain on someone's face as I saw on her's that day. We tried the peaceful way; she resisted. But she forced the fight, and we had to oblige.

I doubt she will ever forgive me. I doubt I will ever forgive myself.

And again, that brings back the enigma. Was this worth it?

I've basically sacrificed my friendships with Mewt and Ritz. They, no doubt, hate me beyond words.

And I can't deny the fact that I love it here. I want to fall prey to the escapism, be consumed by its appeals...the simple fantasy, the simple, unadulterated lifestyle, the happiness and the prospects and the opportunities here...

And once again I ask myself: Is escapism really that bad? At first, I immediately decided to go home. However, that resolve has been strained. I'm really not sure how strongly I want to go home now.

Because at home, there are problems. And I don't want to deal with them. Mom always busy with Doned...alone all the time...more often unhappy than not. Those things...do I _really_ want them back?

I already know the answer. No, of course not. Yet, I have to follow my own advice: You can't just run from it forever.

Ritz...Mewt...Doned...forgive me.

I am what I have done.

Yup. That's the end.

Musings ftw.

Seriously, I think Muse band is really affecting me. My friend recommended it to me...and, well, yeah. Deep, even though this was in no way inspired by any songs.

...I think.

By the way, the last line is from WikiQuote. It fits awesomenessly, but I can't seem to remember where it is from. Marche says it sometime.

I hope.

gl and hf folks.


End file.
